by nintendont64
Before I say anything else, let me just put it out there that I’m a HUUUUGE Nintendo Fanboy. I love Shigeru Miyazaki’s other games, from WII MUSIC to SONIC THE HEDGEHOG to all those games where you play as ZELDA - but somehow I had never sat down and played the game that started it all, SMB. All over reddit I’ve heard people saying, “You’ve gotta play SMB! It’s a masterpiece!” How come? “Because it’s the game that started it all!” everyone shouts, “It’s the best game of all time!” BEST AT WHAT? SUCKING?!! It’s a “platformer” that has zero story, crappy controls (you can only move four directions!), graphics that look like they’re from the mezzozoic era, and then there are the inexplicable WARP ZONES (FYI - “warp zone” is just technobabble for, “cheating the player out of getting to play the whole game!”) And what’s with all the mushroom symbology? This is just the programmers taking a JAB at gamers who they must see as a bunch of stoner deadbeats. Somebody oughta tell those game designers off! And have you played any of the other SUPER MARIO GAMES? THEY’RE NO BETTER. They all have the same fat plumbers running around in overalls trying to get peaches or something! Why aren’t they just content with their mushrooms?! I still gave it a single point though because at least this Mario game led to the awesome MARIO PARTY series of games. Play those, but don’t listen to anybody who says you have to play this “classic.” Just know that this is the only honest review of SMB on the entire internet - you can thank me later.
(the movie this game is based on is one million times better)
